This question is a complex one and it would really be best for you to consult a GP, neurologist, or functional neurologist face to face. There are several factors which may contribute toward a headache/migraine when sexually aroused inckluding (but not limited to) changes in blood pressure, muscle tension, hormonal release, neurological sensation overflow (stimulation/sensitisation of one part of the brain when a part adjacent to it becomes stimulated) and more.
I understand that you may feel embarrassed regarding this issue, but you should remember that health professionals are trained to deal with all kinds of conditions and (after the extended period of time it takes to be trained!) are fairly well equipped to view these cases as clinical puzzles, rather than something to be ashamed of. If you do still feel uncomfortable bringing this up with your GP, maybe someone you will not have to deal with in future may help, though personally, I would have someone I already know and trust deal with such a complex case.
In regards to the health professional I listed above, most people know what a GP and neurologist do, but not so much a functional neurologist. These practitioners look at the spicific relationship between the brain and physical function and in this case may be useful in determining the direct (or indirect) link between your arousal and the pain you suffer.
I hope this at least helps a little.
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