Loss brings emotional pain, a pain that can be all consuming and overwhelming. It can also be somewhat mysterious in that we might seem to go to a place that is so foreign to our day to day existence where the means to understand escapes us. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why me? Why us? Why my baby, my child, my loved one? And why now? We might hear that it happens every day, but how does that make it more normal? How does that make it any less painful?
The biggest comfort is often the opportunity to talk and just be acknowledged without much comment. Just to have someone be there and hear you out or be around without talking can be wonderful support. Sometimes friends find it hard to just listen without trying to make you feel better with well meaning comments - “It is God’s will, ” He is at peace now,” “At least she didn’t’ suffer” etc etc. Grief is a process and we need to give ourselves time to move through it. Take it one day at a time and if you find it a bit overwhelming have a chat to a trained person who will help you though it.
Something to bear in mind is that grief from loss can sometimes restimulate earlier experiences of unresolved grief making things much worse. So when you find that talking to friends is not quite enough, do consider accepting help, just as you would want to see a loved one consider this when they seem to be struggling with what has happened to them.
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