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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I get past a 34 year marriage breakdown?

    Related Topics
    Depression Relationships
    I need help. I'm depressed - I can't do anything and can't eat. I just want my marriage back.
    • 2 answers
    • Dr Pauline Enright
    • Margie Ulbrick
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  • Dr Pauline Enright

    Counsellor

    When life doesn’t go well, support is needed - a patient listener, understanding ear, and help to find solutions. Conditions include addiction, anxiety, depression, grief, … View Profile

    Debbie, I am sorry to hear of your situation. But you do not give any details, so it is a little hard to know where to start. The most important thing, however, whatever the details, is to take care of yourself. If you have support networks, such as friends and other family, do turn to them and accept any care and help that they offer. You say that you cannot eat. Do try. Keeping yourself physically healthy and as normal as possible will help you to stay grounded. Go for walks to places you like. Exercise is always good and will help tire you out if you are having trouble sleeping. Consider what else is important in your life if you possibly can. Try to find a direction that will 'nurture your soul.' If your mind is unsettled, think about what makes you calm. Have you some favourite music? This might sound trivial but music can help lift your mood. Try Mindfulness - staying quiet and calm and focussing on the breath. It can help you to remember you are still you. Get help sorting out the legal and other details. Remember - this will pass. I wish you well.

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  • Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    In addition to the other helpful information provided abaove I recommend that you see a practitioner who specialises in relationshipbreakdown &/or depression. The breakdown of a long marriage can be one of the most traumatic life experiences and it is important that you get lots of support to help you come through this to the other side where you can eventually begin to create a different life for yourself. You will naturally go through some of the stages of grief and wanting your marriage back is part of this. There are many things that can assist you move through these stages including some nervous system work where you begin to learn to manage your system so as not to stay too long is states of distress but to notice and cultivate more ease and peace. I wish you all the best in this current crisis and hope you get the support you need.

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