From my perspective (ACT model), feelings of joy only come when someone is able to fully engage in an activity that is meaningful and important. In your case I would look at three potential factors relating to the experience of joy.
what activities you have in your life that you feel are meaningful.
If and when you attend to these activities do you find that you are fully present, or away with your thoughts/ trying to control your experience
Finally, to experience joy, you need to open up to the full spectrum of human experience. Those activities that are important enough to you that you might experience joy, are often also closely tied with some pretty confronting situations that you may wish to avoid.
In other words, what you love and what you fear most are poured from the same vessel. And to truly experience moments of joy, you must be open to the possibility of unpleasant emotions in the pursuit of these.
Hoping not to wake up sounds like a solution to a problem. Would that problem be difficult emotions/ thoughts? If so the problem may your relationship to your emotions. If you see some emotions as the enemy, and some as the end goal, you are likely to struggle with a large part of your experience. This struggle often keeps unpleasant thoughts and emotions around for longer than they otherwise would be, and impact on your ability to be present and open to your day to day experience.
I hope you find this useful in answering your question :)
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