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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    I have a fairly reasonable life so why am I feeling depressed?

    I have a good life, I have a place to live, good family and friends, a boyfriend and a good job. My boyfriend is in the Army and away for most of the year, my friends are leaving to follow their jobs and I think im just struggling because I am not doing anything I love… I am overweight and cannot seem to get my act together and stop eating so I loose weight. Someone please help to sort out my head because I always feel alone even in crowds. I see people talking around me and enjoying themselves and I feel like they are speaking a different language. I always feel like just crawling back into bed with a book or just a pillow and hibernating. How do I make myself wake up and seize the life going on around me??
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  • Ralph Graham


    Ralph Graham, Counsellor, Psychotherapist, helping those who are affected by:grief, loss, anxiety, phobias, panic attack.And those who have been traumatised by:crime, assault, sexual abuse and … View Profile

    Alone with your thoughts, things can get exaggerated, negative thoughts and anxieties can build unchecked. We certainly can think our way of this sort of “frame of mind” sometimes but if this is not happening, consider talking to someone.

    As I have said elsewhere it is important to find someone you feel comfortable with, this may not be the first professional you meet and you will KNOW when you have found one that is right for you. Talking to a trained person can be very empowering as you will often find your own answers in the session room. So think about it. Audition a counsellor and embrace the process. You may find it truly liberating.
    Go well!
    Ralph  :o)

  • Penny Lewis

    Clinical Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychotherapist

    I am a Clinical Psychologist with more than 25 years experience working with adults with a broad range of backgrounds dealing with a wide variety … View Profile

    While it would be important to check in with your GP to rule out a biological depression – where people can feel depressed regardless of their life circumstances - you have probably hit the nail on the head when you say “I think I’m just struggling because I am not doing anything I love…”  Finding meaning and purpose in life is the key to creating a rewarding life, but it is a major challenge for all of us. This is a subject that is very dear to my heart. My husband, (who is a psychiatrist – Dr George Blair-West) and I have spent many years discussing this and he has just written an award winning book called The Way of the Quest (see ) which gives some guidelines to finding meaning and purpose in the form of a metaphorical tale. You may also be interested in his previous bestselling book Weight loss for Food Lovers (see ) as it addresses psychological reasons behind difficulty with weight management and self sabotage. In fact, the common problem of lack of meaning and purpose he found amongst those struggling with their weight prompted him to write The Way of the Quest – the quest being to find your meaning in life.
    If you are willing to see a therapist, I would suggest you find one who does Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT).  This therapy aims to help you create a rich and rewarding life  by helping you clarify your values, set goals and learn ways of managing thoughts and feelings that may get in the way of you living the sort of life you want to lead. You will also find lots of self help resources and books on ACT at this website (, with a directory of ACT therapists. Best wishes for you – in seeking help, you have taken your first step in this journey of finding your life’s purpose. 

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