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I am a burden on my kids and husband lives.
Conversation started by lost
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I can not seem to feel good. Im seeing heaps of different doctors, but the fact is im a failure for my 4 wonderful kids and husband, who doesnt understand depression. I have nothing to offer. plus my kids seem unhappy with me. Especially my two teenagers, my 15 yr old daughter is so beautiful on the outside but also inside, I feel im destroying her and others, I cant fix the problems. My 10 yr old has been diagnosed with emotional aspergers. So she would of got that from me, as my history is bad on my family's side of mental issues. when Im this low I find it hard to want to move on. I just dont want to be here. -
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Thanks
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Hi, I totally understand how you feel. I'm just like that at the moment.
My family has a history of depression and anxiety and I've been on and off medication and seeing counsellors since I was a teenager.
I have 2 children and I often think they'd be better off without me.
Do you have a GP you see regularly that you can talk to? It helps to talk to someone.. it can make you feel a hell of a lot better. I've found counselling works too with a registered psychologist. Sometimes it helps to speak to someone who is outside your family/friends circle as they can provide an objective point of view.
I'm sure you're not a burden on your family. I bet your husband and children love you and want to help you, they just don't know how to go about it.
My suggestion would be to see a GP and have a full checkup and if you feel you would like to speak to someone about how you're feeling, get them to give you a Mental Health Plan. It will give you ten (I'm pretty sure it's 10 or 12) sessions with a psychologist without a huge expense.
Hang in there. Things will get better for you. I know people always tell you to cheer up. It's almost laughable how hard it is to “cheer up” when you're feeling so low. Just keep telling yourself it's only your mind doing this to you. See a counsellor and get some help before you get worse. Your family needs you whether you believe it or not.
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Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith
Health Professional
My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile
Writing as somebody who is in remission from depression, I *very strongly* endorse what Grant has written.
I suggest that you read his post *slowly and carefully* and absorb its wisdom and compassion.
Picking up on a couple of points that you made:
You have described a number of negative feelings that you have experienced. That is fine and I do not mean to invalidate your feelings. But, feelings are not facts. This is where (as Grant has implied) a psychologist may be be able to help - s/he will be able to help you to challenge your feelings - in effect learning to ask yourself “Hmm, that is a feeling. Now, is there any evidence which shows that feeling reflects the facts of my family relationships?”. Often there is no evidence. The fancy term for this approach is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and it is often very effective for people (like me) who are dealing with depression.
You also mentioned that you have a family history of mental illness. Here I am writing as a “Researcher” member of Healthshare - don't worry about it - “genetics” is a word, it is not a sentence.
All the best.
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