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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Could I have prevented his death?

    I keep wondering if I could have done something to prevent my baby from dying? I can’t help blaming myself for his cot death?
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • Regardless of the circumstances, it is a very common and normal to ask these sorts of questions when you are grieving - it is common to experience guilt and self-reproach, and struggle with questions such as “what if?”.  These questions arise as a process of accepting the loss.  They are often amplified for parents, because parents are emotionally in such a responsible and caring relationship with their child.  The normal process for many people in your situation is to struggle painfully with these thoughts and in time come to accept that you were not responsible and could not have done anything - that you did the best at the time.  It might be very helpful to speak to a counsellor over the telephone for some immediate help or a referral to face to face counselling if you want that too (but I suggest even the telephone conversation might help a lot); there are various services out there, such as the Small Miracles Foundation:

    “The Small Miracles Foundation was established to provide free telephone, online and face-to-face counselling for Australian families dealing with fertility issues, miscarriage, still birth, premature birth or infant loss.”

    Ph 1300 266 643



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