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  • Shared Experiences

    Whats the best way to approach a loved one for help

    My mum has anxiety and I feel that it is really impacting her quality of life and would really like her to seek help to help manage it. How can I approach her without offending her?



    • 2 comments
    • Dr Aimee Maxwell
    • Amy Shah
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • I am a registered psychologist who works with leaders, providing professional supervision and education about principal's health and wellbeing. I've spent 8.5 years immersed in … View Profile

    Hi there, it's hard to watch our loved ones struggling isn't it. You're able to see that she would benefit from some help but you don't quite know what to do about it.

    I think when we approach these kinds of conversations from a position of love then they can go easier than if we lead with fear or control.

    So, having said that, lead with love.

    "Mum, I really love you and I want to see you feeling ok. Lately, I've noticed that some of the time you're really worried and you get very upset. That's pretty normal but I just wanted you to know that if you need some help coping with some of your worries then I'm happy to help you find someone good."

    This way you tell her that you're loving, helpful, not able to provide the help she needs but willing to walk the path with her and accepting of her difficulties.

    In the end, she'll decide her own route - it's lovely for you to want to help her, but if she decides to keep things as they are, then you may need some assistance to cope with your feelings about her struggle.

    Good luck :) 

  • Amy Shah

    Counsellor

    Since 2013, I’ve helped my clients break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back in life. Life's too short to be unhappy, … View Profile

    Hello,

    I agree with what Dr Maxwell has to say. 

    Your mother is a significant person in your life and as a daughter it is normal to be concerned for her wellbeing, especially when you are noticing the changes in her lifestyle. 

    Having an open conversation from a caring and loving perspective is helpful. In doing so you would be extending your support to her and making her feel understood rather than judged.   

    Best wishes

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