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  • Shared Experiences

    Suffering from depression and anxiety

    I have had depression for over 15 years. Anxiety has always been there but it is now become more frequent. I turn 41 next week. In the last few years my depression has escalated, hence my writing on here. I am in a bad place at the moment. My 5 year old son has just been diagnosed with Autism (aspergers) which is a daily struggle. I work full time but am not coping well. I am in a management position and I am becoming forgetful. I don't want to talk in front of people anymore and sometimes I can berely get my words out. And i forget everything. My confidence I once had is nearly gone. I don't know what is wrong with me. I cry. To add to this i am in a bad marriage. I believe he is emotionally abusive (although can be lovely as well). No-one knows any of this and i am barely coping…I am writing on here beause I am home from work today because I could not face it. It happens often, but they think it is due to the difficulty with my son. I am worried about myself. My thoughts are dark.
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • Joe Gubbay

    Clinical Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychotherapist

    I have worked in public hospitals as well as private practice over the past 25 years. As a clinical psychologist I treat depression, social anxiety, … View Profile

    I don't know if you're getting any treatment for depression, but that's what I would urge you to pursue.  Sometimes people have a long term depressive condition that can be under control, but then when things get harder their depression deepens.  My guess is that your anxiety is secondary to (or part of) your depression, but that is just a guess.  You've got a lot that you're dealing with, and anyone would find that difficult and need support; if you're depressed, you need more than support - you need proper treatment.  

    Speak to your doctor about it.  I know it's hard to do, especially when you've been keep a lid on things for years, but the time has come when you really do need to take care of yourself.  I'd recommend asking for a referral to a psychologist with experience dealing with children with Aspergers, as helping you to manage your son will probably be an important component of treatment.  If your GP can't recommend someone, the Australian Psychological Society has a database that should be able to find someone with the right skills where you live (or work):
    http://www.psychology.org.au/findapsychologist/ 

    I wish you all the best.  

  • CrochetQueenKerry

    HealthShare Member

    I have had depression on and off for many years. My 22 year old son has Asperger's but he does not have depression. I have come to realise that I am having his depression, (inc. the burden of disability) added to my own. Sounds silly I know. Now I am the burden (on my husband). There are often a lot of factors in each person's story. Everyone is different but I can pick bits out here and there and say “aha - I can identify with that”. I also feel like I could write a book on Autism & Asperger's and I get pretty over it from time to time. My son is turning out pretty damn good even if I am a bit biased. He had help at school, therapies, special programs, the works. But if you are in the black hole you can't see the positive in anything, it feels crippling. You need all the help you can get, when you can work out what form that help could be, practical and/or sharing your burden and getting the “right” advice. I really wish you well. Kerry.

  • Angela Marshall

    HealthShare Member

    I am sorry to read that you have suffered from ongoing depression. When I read your post the first thing I thought of was that you are suffereing from stress too.
    You are trying to be all things to all people: a good mother to a 5 year old, work full time and keep
    your marriage going…. no wonder you are feeling so stressed and not coping at work.
    Maybe you could consider taking a step back from it all. Taking a bit of a break from work or considering a part time position? I think you might be being too hard on yourself and you are trying to
    keep all the balls you are juggling in the air at the same time.
    Have you considered some ME time. Or just some relaxing time at home with your son to get to know him and work out a way that suits you both.
    A marriage is supposed to be a two way affair so it takes two people to keep it going. Not one woman trying to work for two.
    Be kind to yourself,

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