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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Sexless marriage - what can I do?

    Related Topics
    Relationships Sexual Health
    We have been are married for the past 12 years, but from the day one my husband was not interested in sex. We have it like 4-5 times a year. I know ours is a sexless marriage, but in initial years, I was thinking, this could be because of the stress in his office. He is addicted to either computer/Tv or some gadget all the time. He never agrees to come for a counselling and says, problem is with me. Is there a counsellor with whom I can chat in Glen Waverley, Victoria region? Since he doesn't agree to come, is there a better way to handle this? Is there an online counselling? I am new here in Australia.
    • 2 answers
    • Vivienne Colegrove
    • Margie Ulbrick
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  • Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    There could be any number of reasons your husband is not interested in sex. However, you are describing a situation where it seems unlikely he will be willing to work with you to explore and then work on changing this. Certainly relationship counselling may be helpful if your husband is prepared to come along, and I am happy to offer this (I am in Eltham, a little distance from Glen Waverley, but happy to see you if you would like). If your husband is not willing to either come to counselling, or to work on creating a more intimate relationship with you, you may wish to come along on your own. Feel free to contact me if you would like to make an appointment either together or for you individually.

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  • Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    It sounds like you have been living with this lack of sex for a very long time. And that it has always been this way. There could be many reasons and you say at first you thought he was stressed but it is more complicated than that. it is a persistent and ongoing problem of the marriage that needs to be addressed. I am a Relationship Counsellor in East Malvern (close to Glen Waverley) and would be able to support you. If he is not willing to join you in marriage counselling you could tell him that the situation is making you unhappy and that you will need to attend counselling alone. That you are clear that you cannot continue putting up with the situation and you would prefer if he join you so you could both solve this problem together. It is not about blame, but about understanding what is gooing on for you both. Good luck!

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