Although I can hear in your question that you are struggling in some ways, I can also hear a lot of strengths in you too. You are able to work and keep yourself regulated most of the time and without resorting to drugs and alcohol. It is a great credit to your strengths as a survivor that you are able to do all this.
However I can hear that you are still sometimes triggered and feel as if you go back into the past - react as if living in the past. This is quite common for survivors and something that can be worked on. Sometimes survivors who are feeling they have done some recovery but feel 'stuck' at a certain point can benefit by going back to a specialist trauma processing counsellor/therapist and doing some more work. Clients tell me that specific trauma focussed techniques like EMDR and sensori-motor psychotherapy can help where 'talking therapy' alone could not. Some clients do find hypnosis helpful too, but others feel trepidation and feel they 'can't relax' enough to do it (a good therapist can help with this). It is worth trying a few different things to see what works for you.
I have also found that survivors who are still exposed to abuse (eg still being abused by a childhood perpetrator) can find it harder to heal as they are still being triggered and are not yet in a 'safe place' to process trauma. It sounds to me as if you are still feeling emotionally abused by your mother. I think it is worth discussing this with a trauma informed therapist to see if you can find ways to protect yourself. This might enable you to feel more free to work on what's triggering you.
The organisation mentioned by Dr Easterbrook-Smith (ASCA) have a referral database of therapists in Australia that might be of use.
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