It does sound like a connundrum. What to do? We are all faced at times with difficulties around honesty and our integrity. At the end of the day we have to live with ourselves. Some people don't feel uncomfortable about a certain level of not being open and others feel less comfortable with this. It seems like you need to decide what you can live with. She is your best friend. You fear being judged by her. No one can know in advance if this will ruin your friendship. It does bring up questions as to how strong the friendship is. Relationships change all the time as we do. That's the one known thing in life. However, navigating that change can be difficult. We want friends who want the best for us, who support our growth and our journey in life. Sadly, sometimes people disappoint us. We can feel let down or judged. If we don't feel free to be ourselves in a friendhip this is also a difficulty. It's a bit of a juggle. Balancing your need for friendhip, to be honest, to feel comfortable with the decisions you make. Counselling can really help sort this out for you and I think you might find it very supportive so that you can work out what is best for you. All the best, Margie
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