As Loretta says, it certainly may be useful to look at couples counselling to support you to find ways of directly expressing your needs in a non-defensive way in your relationship. It may also be important, though, to respect the part of you that will be slow to trust - this means working with your partner to develop clear agreements about how to build trust together. This may include negotiating what each of you feels is OK (e.g. who you speak to and how you speak to them on FB or other social media), and what feels like a violation of the boundaries you need to have in place to feel secure in your relationship. There may be some real differences in how you and your partner view this - for example, I may think it's perfectly OK to have intense emotional friendships with other people; my partner may have an issue with this. Be careful to distinguish between what are your trust issues from the past, and what are your ‘bottom lines’ about what is and is not OK in a relationship. Relationship counselling can support both you and your partner to work through what are your deal breakers, and to develop clear agreements about what each of you need in order to feel secure in your bond with each other. In a healthy relationship, this can and must be done without one person's needs being met at the expense of the other.
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