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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    My child has moved interstate. How can I cope with the empty nest?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health Relationships
    My son is an only child and although my marriage is good, I made the mistake of allowing him to be my emotional support for several years.

    He has played too big a part in my life and although I'm pleased that he has taken this next important step, I miss him so much.
    • 2 answers
    • Margie Ulbrick
    • Vivienne Colegrove
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    Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    It is quite understandable that you miss your son terribly. I recommend that you give yourself some time and space to acknowledge that fully. At the same time you recognise that for him, this is an important step. Letting go is the constant journey of a parent and is in fact a big part of life. Perhaps you can see this as an opportunity. You say that your marriage is good. What if it were even better? What if this becomes the opportunity for you to create a wonderful partnership with your husband that is nurturing and nourishing and deeply rewarding. What if, you also allowed yourself the time to discover aspects of yourself that lie unexpressed. Perhaps, you might discover avenues for joy such as art or nature of taking up something that have previously never had time for. May this be a transition that you make into a new and exciting phase of your life. All the best.

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  • Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    I agree with Maggie - completely understandable that you would be missing your son terribly! It's important that you don't 'beat yourself up' about what sounds like a lovely close connection with him. It's important to acknowledge that letting your son go to live his life and individuate from you is tough, and to take very good care of yourself. I hope that in addition to Maggie's suggestion that you see this as an opportunity to enrich your relationship with your husband, that you also give yourself permission to draw on emotional support from others - friends, extended family. If that support is not sufficient, I hope you will be courageous and reach out to create new friendships and supportive connections in your life. 

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