Sounds like you are having a really tough time - feeling so low and worrying about your family. Given the kinds of things you are thinking and feeling, I think you'd be best to start by speaking with your GP. They can hear more about what you are going through and refer you to a Psychologist to help. You would most likely be able to get a referral to a Psychologist via one of the Medicare routes so that you'll get a rebate for your sessions.
Even though you mention you won't harm yourself, given that you're having these kinds of thoughts I think it's really important to let your wife know just how low you're feeling. You need as much support as possible and I'm hoping she could be one avenue for that. If that sounds too daunting at first, perhaps it's something you could talk about with your Psychologist - how to raise it with your wife.
You also mention drinking. I'm not sure whether you have a “drinking problem” as such - perhaps so if it's caused you to be fired - but there is also help for that out there too. Again, your GP and/or a Psychologist could help you work out what kind of help you need in that regard and link you in with the appropriate service. I
n the meantime, you could check out some websites such as www.beyondblue.org.au and www.alcohol.gov.au to get some more informatio about what you are facing at the moment as well as service providers. I hope these suggestions help.
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