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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Why am I being pushed out from my family?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health Relationships
    My son's girlfriend has hated me since she had Ella, my granddaughter. My son went through a difficult time where he was taking drugs. I am sad because I cannot see Ella or Chris and he only rings me when his girlfriend is not around. She allowing my parents to see their great granddaughter and I feel intimidated.
    I have tried making peace with her but she says that it is me who has created the issue by not wanting to visit, although I did not visit as I did not want to make her feel uncomfortable after she had already stated that she does not like me.
    I feel like I am being excluded from the family. Also my grand daughter is now having problems with a personality disorder at only 5 and is going to see a councellor.
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    Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith

    Health Professional

    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    I hear that you have a lot of love and compassion for Chris and Ella.

    Is there a a trusted friend (who knows you, Chris and his partner) who you can look to for support and who could maybe also act as a mediator?

    One thing that you wrote struck me: “Also my grand daughter is having problems with a personality disorder at only 5 and is going to see a councellor”.

    I am  not a mental health professional (though my ex-partner is a child psychologist and I am an administrator of a forum which supports people with mental health issues).

    With those caveats in mind (and I am not meaning to invalidate what you have been told),  I think that it is unlikely that a mental health professional would have diagnosed her with a personality disorder - these, (on Axis II of the DSM (the “reference text” for mental health professionals)), are usually applied to people in the adolescent-adult age range.

    Perhaps one of the mental health professional members could comment here?

    Children develop at their own pace and in their own time.

    All the best.

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    dolphin514

    HealthShare Member

    my mum has said that my sons parntner told her ella hates her clothes that her mum buys her and only likes sparkley clothes at kinder she feel that the other kids at kinder are going to kill her and if the kids next door to her will not play with her she just thinks that every one hates her funny also that ella have had many trips to the hospital due to her bowl being blocked up they had to give her harsh medichine due to her eating junk food on a everyday basis they had her on a strick diet and so i have herd still is but she will not move her bowls and the doctors seem to think its all in her mind which i do not believe all kids must expell what inside them they cannot hold on ella even refused to talk to either of her parents while in hospital i thought this was strang as 5 yr old would want either one of there parents is worries me to see this happening to ella but is out of my control i hope the psychologist in ipswitch can find out what is happening to her she should be a happy girl not scared both parents had her at 17 yrs old his parnter suzie just dilikes me and i have tried to put out the olive leaf and she has refused it my son only rings me when he needs something or when suzie is not around she allows my parents to see ella and talk to her but refuses me and my 2nd husband as she does not trust him but he makes me happy has helpped my daughter come out of her shell and as a step daughter calls him dad and want to change her name to his this yr when she turns 18 how many step kids do that so i can't see what all the fuss is about with suzie he and i have done nothing to make them is way chris even calls him dad and he is 23 yrs so what am i doing wrong

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  • Elisha Lawry

    Organisational Psychologist, Psychologist

    I have a deep commitment to helping people achieve an effortless life balance. My focus is to bring positive transformation to clients suffering from Anxiety, … View Profile

    This would vary from family to family as to what is going on. I think family issues are very important to understand and to talk through with another person, particularly if you are feeling that you are being pushed out in some way. Now it would depend, obviously, on the age of the person, as to whether it is appropriate or not.
    For example, a late 20-year-old staying at home in the family home might be being pushed by the parents to go out and begin their own life as an adult, and I don't see that as a negative.
    That could often be a positive, but of course it depends on the circumstance.
    If it is a young child, their safety might be in question and I would be working with the family to find a way to resolve whatever the issues are going on.

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