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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How can I manage a tearful eyes and upset feelings?

    I am 35yr old mother of a 3 month old baby. I feet that my husband is cheating on me because he cares more about my single lady neighbor more than his family. I feel hurt and affected and become quite tearful.
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    I am a psychologist in private practice.I also lecture and supervise psychologists/psychology students at University.I work with clients who suffer from depression and anxiety. I … View Profile

    You are in a difficult situation, so it is no wonder that you are upset. I gather that you would prefer to stay married and would also like this matter between yourself and your husband to be resolved. Since your child is so very young, I also feel that some of your distress is around wanting a good father for your child. You are proably quite tired at the moment, lacking sleep etc. Have you thought of suggesting relationship counselling to him? A private psychologist who specialises in relationship issues could help. Or, you could try contacting relationships Australia. If he is not willing to get counselling, you could begin by seeking counselling yourself. You need support at this difficult time. I hope you have some good friends and/or family that you can talk to.

  • 1

    Thanks

    Ash Rehn

    Counsellor, Psychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Social Worker

    Mental Health Medicare Provider of focussed psychological strategies, Counsellor & Therapist specialising in ‘sex addiction’, pornography issues, gay counselling, online therapy. For more information: www.ForwardTherapy.com View Profile

    Upset feelings are usually a sign that our needs are not being met.
    Do you need more trust with your husband?
    Or reassurance?
    Could you tell him you were feeling upset, that you needed trust or reassurance and ask him to answer some questions honestly?

    Have a new baby is quite a stressful experience for many people because it involves lots of changes and having to care for an extra person. But remember that you have needs as well. Tears can show us that something is not going right and needs attention, so ignoring tears or trying to supress them might not be as helpful as allowing the tears to tell you what isn't right.

    Look to find someone you can talk to, either a private counsellor / therapist or the nurses who are providing you with post-natal care services. Your GP should also be able to refer you to someone you can see and talk with. It is important that both you and your baby are supported right now, so don't expect yourself to manage on your own. It's ok and the right thing to ask for help, particularly if your husband isn't providing the support you need.

  • 2

    Thanks

    Renee Mill

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Empowering people is my passion and life work. I have been working as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I have … View Profile

    Teary eyes and upset feelings are  warning signs that you do not feel happy. Your body is telling you that something is wrong. 

    Do not try and suppress your feelings. Use them as a guide to repair what needs to be repaired. That may mean talking to your husband and trying to solve the issues together.

    Or it may mean going for individual or couple therapy. If your symptoms persist or get worse, you may be spiralling into depression which you should discuss with your GP.

    The important thing is not to suppress the feelings, or ignore them. Thankfully we live in a time where there is a lot of help available.  

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