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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    What can I do to manage my anger?

    hi, i checked my symptoms and am not supposed to be depressed. but why do i feel angry inside all the time? sometimes i am ok and then something - dont know what happens - triggers this anger in me and i can be grumpy for days. i have 2 kids under 4. i dont think it is a postnatal depression. it is not about them. it is like i am just upset about my life in general. but i love my kids and i love my husband and i am grateful what i have. i just get upset when i cant get my daily to do list done on time because kids interupt etc. it is like i cant get on top of things in my life.we have financial dificulties but i dont panic about it yet. just really confused how i feel, why i feel like that and what it is that makes me feel that way. just would want some advice on how to cope with this. cant really afford specialists.
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    With a passion to see people move forward and break free from the barriers holding them back, Grant is a highly experienced counsellor with over … View Profile

    Often when we are stressed, which pre-schoolers and financial pressure can do, the ‘weaknesses’ in our physical and emotional well-being are highlighted so it is good that you are recognising these at this early stage. It is a bit like the ‘Check Engine’ light in your car - there is some reason why you are living with a high level of anger and a counsellor, like a mechanic for your car, can help you clarify what it is about and develop strategies to work through it. However, given you are financially strapped this may be difficult unless you can find some low fee services. There are some available eg charities, interns and so forth so Google for your area or call your local community or mental health service and ask them. You can also utilise your local library and borrow some books and CD's on anger management/depression/motivation. I'd also suggest you talk to a trusted friend and let them know what's going on for you and can you call them for a chat if you are really struggling. And don't forget to “smell the roses” - plan some fun activities that YOU enjoy so you can be refreshed and stimulated. Of course, if you find your anger is getting closer and closer to the surface you'll need to get help. 

  • I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    Grant makes the excellent point that anger can be the body/mind's way letting you know something isn't right. Another way of thinking about this is that anger is often a ‘masking’ or secondary emotion - it can sit on top of other feelings that may be harder to identify. This is where it may be helpful to seek out support from someone who can help you get underneath the anger and understand what is going on for you, and what you need to do about it. Grant makes some good suggestions about how to access counselling at low cost - I hope you may be able to find some good assistance. 
    My guess, from what you have said, is that your anger may be a response to feeling overwhelmed and unable to change things that you need to be different. You might need to think about what you can accept as being out of your control for now, and work on strategies that will help you to let this go, but also think about what you are able to change, and how to make these changes.

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