Acting passive-aggressively is something that is entirely within your control. What emotions we experience isn't completely within our control. Furthermore, thoughts can seem automatic, and take conscious effort to challenge; we can acquire control over our thoughts. Whereas, as in the case of being passive-aggressive, our behaviour is something we always have control over.
When people experience emotions intensely, sometimes they do not think they have any control over their behaviour. Whilst they may not feel like they do, they actually do. If you struggle with behaving passive aggressively, I suggest you work on building your level of emotional tolerance, and build on your emotional regulation skills - increasing your tolerance for the emotions you think fuel your behaviour will help you to recognise you are in control. Further to this, acquiring an understanding of how to behave assertively will provide you with a means of expressing yourself to others in a way that increases your chance of being listened to and respected. When you behave in a passive aggressive way, you are showing disrespect to others, which is likely to adversely fuel their emotions in the situation, and reduce the chance of the situation being resolved.
You may benefit from considering why you feel compelled to behave in a passive aggressive manner; many people who behave passive aggressively identify with wanting to feel more power relative to others in a situation, and behaving passive aggressively helps them do this. The problem is, it comes at the expense of causing further problems between you and whoever else is in the situation.
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