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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    After trying many options, my new wife (60) has never achieved orgasm

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    My wife is 60 and I am 59 and we have been married for almost 2 years. We have tried numerous options and positions, all to no avail. Can you help?
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    Hello, I’m Jacqueline Hellyer, Sex Therapist and Relationship Coach. I’ve spent thousands of hours working with individuals and couples around sex and relationships. I’ve been … View Profile

    There are many different approaches to helping women achieve orgasm. There are so many factors contributing to orgasmic ability, my best advice is to talk to a sex therapist. You'll be able to go through what you've tried to date, what the response has been, and go into related issues around her and your attitude and approach to sex in general, past sexual experiences, and so forth.

    Having said that, the best way for a woman to start orgasming, is for to learn to bring herself to orgasm. If your wife is not able to stimulate herself to orgasm, then I would recommend that you try that first. Again, if she needs advice on masturbation, then talk to a sex therapist. Once she can do that, then it will be easier for you to do the same.

    Good luck!

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    You could try helping her relax with things like candles, soft music, possibly give each other a massage. (From experience, alcohol makes it harder to climax).
    I apologise if you find this too open or offensive in any way, but know things you could try.
    Touching her internally, and her clitoris gently at the same time could work. Gently pulling back the hood of her clitoris and very very gently rubbing the tiny “button” with some lubricant could help as well. But be careful, as this ‘button’ is probably the most sensitive place on a womans body! Oral sex in this area is another thing that may help, if not too out there for you. I've heard that a lot of women find it hard to orgasm from just sex alone and find it easier with masturbation. Also tell her not to think so much about trying to orgasm but just enjoy what is happening.

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