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  • Shared Experiences

    I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for most of my 28 year old life

    I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for most of my 28 year old life. A fantastic GP, great counselor and psychiatrist with 40 mg of lexapro daily isn't helping me much. I still cry alot, everything seems like an effort, I don't have the will to live and cant hold down a job. I am officially out of ideas.
  • Find a professional to answer your question

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    beyondblue is a national, independent, not-for-profit organisation working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related disorders in Australia.beyondblue is a bipartisan initiative of … View Profile

    Hi Sad girl,



    It sounds like the meidication is not really working for you.  Can I suggest you go back to your health professional and discuss this and talk about the range of symptoms you are experinceing.  The dose may not be right or the type of medication may not be right for you, it can take time to find the right one.  But you dont have to go on feeling like this, there are safe and effective treatments available to help you.  Go on, call the GP and make an appointment, its the first step to giving yourself the chance to recover. 

    Nicole

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    Natalie Andrew

    HealthShare Member

    Hi sadgirl83,

    I'm 26 years old and have been struggling with anxiety and major depression my whole life as well. Everyday is a struggle and I feel like I constantly have to push myself to get through the days. I am still trying to find the right medications it seems never ending take this pill and take that pill and take half of this pill. I recently suffered a severve mental breakdown and still recovering now.

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    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    Hi Sadgirl93



    I am sorry to read that Lexapro is not helping you. I can relate - the first AD that I was on was, for me, worse than useless (suicidal ideation) but what I am on now is, for me, great,



    As Nicole suggests, go back to your health professionals and discuss the idea of a different med with them.



    Matching the “right” med to the “right” person can take a while. I am one of the moderators of another mental health support forum and there this process is called “being on the medi-go-round”.



    All the best.

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    Anonymous

    thank you dr. nicole, natalie and kiwi,



    i have been crying for the past few hours and it really helped me to read your replies. my clinical psychologist and psychiatrist both think that eventually i will need a different medication. however, they are reluctant to change my medication since my current environment is terribly painful and i am not able to change that for the next few months. i am stuck in limbo, and just not able to cope anymore. i feel like, isnt this enough sadness for one person, for an entire lifetime?

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    Anonymous

    natalie, what was your mental breakdown like?

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    B Wallis

    HealthShare Member

    Hi Sadgirl83 …. soon to be happy girl….. cause you are going to get better! It is daunting changing meds… I am in the process of doing it myself darl! and it scares heck out of me! but i have to try cause my quality of life is suffering to the point of having no quality of life at all!  this morning was the cruncher… everymorning waking up like a deer in the headlights that horrible dreaded morning feeling! I was crying all morning too and not wanting to be by myself too darl! to make matters worse my kids are going back to school on Monday and I will so miss them and dont want to be alone!  So i cried and cried and prayed.. picked up the phone and rang my doctor to see a good doc at the practise whom i can never usually get into see as he is so popular!  The receptionist told me he wasnt seeing anyone today but then i broke down and told her i wasnt coping! next thing you know he was only going to see me today… I couldnt believe it! I went down there straight away… no shower  nothing… i was a real mess and cried and cried and cried to him…. as my zoloft after many years has stopped working. and another doc there tried to get me on mirtazapine… but made me fuzzy all day long even after taking them at night! which frieked me out completely.  So he said thats it -you are going to try Luvox… and I want you to start them tonight!!!! I am dam scared to take them… but he assures me they are ok and will not hurt me! So i guess i am on the medi-go-round too…. which is very daunting for someone with depression and anxiety… but i have to have faith in my doctor! as I am sick of having no life and feeling like this… cause when i am happy i am great and love life!   He then organised a mental health nurse to come visit me… and she is going to organise a mental health plan for me…. to top it off he also bulk billed me…. which other wise would have cost $69 less medicare rebate! I cried when she said no charge!!! I must have looked a real mess when i came out! eyes all red and puffy face!

    My point is… no one has the will to keep going when we feel like this….but we all have a strong urge to get better…. and not feel this way! It is human instinct to fight our way out of this and crawl out of this deep pitt of depression!  we are given this life as a gift… and although we cannot see the gift when we are sick like this…. it is there waiting to be opened when we get better… to once appreciate how beautiful this world is! Life is so precious…. even with the bumps in the road… they are there for a purpose! and i am positive that those of us that experience depression and get better see life in a much more appreciative way than those that don't …!

    Please go back to the docs … the meds obviously are not enough or not right for you hun! Trust me i know how you feel darl! Sending you love and (((Hugs))) please know you are not alone!

    Also I dont know if i can post this… but i have joined a great facebook depression goup with member on 24 hours all over the world who will listen and care darl!  Please consider joining…. the more help the merrier and more support for you honey….

      https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/35515040223/       Godbless and keep us posted hun! xxxooo

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    Natalie Andrew

    HealthShare Member

    HI Sadgirl,
    My mental breakdown was horrible, I ignored the signs I was slipping into depression and then all of a sudden one minute I was ok then I was an absolute mess shaking couldn't eat or sleep. I couldn't make decision's on my own I didn't know how to do simple things like going to the shop it would stress me out, I just wanted to die I didn't know where to go for help my husband didn't understand so we where arguing alot, I lost 6 kg in the first week I was sick, I was taken to hospital to be comitted but the hospital decided I wasn't sucidal enough to be admitted. I am still trying to recover it's been 5 months now and my doctor and I are still trying to find the reight med's. I feel like there is no hope, I don't know how I feel anymore I don't know if it's the depression making me feel the way I do about my life and my marriage or if it's the depression. I just want to pack up all my things and move back to where all my family are, I hate my job I hate where I live, I hate myself.

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    Anonymous

    thank you for sharing nat85,

    i think almost everyday, i feel a minor but still horrible version of what you felt during ur breakdown. my therepist is worried about my suididal thoughts but because i am not suicidal when i see him he cant send me to a hospital. my husband does not understand either, not at all. i know how it feels to panic at the thought of going to the shops. for me, some days, even brushing my teeth makes my heart pound. 
    all that you have said above abour ur marriage, ur life, ur feelings…i feel that too. i dont know what to do either.

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    CrazyJo

    HealthShare Member

    Oh my God! You are so describing exactly my life right now. Making me cry just reading it. I feel so alone, so isolated, so miserable. Only thing keeping me going is my two daughters. But even they are grown now (17 & 19) and sometimes I think they would be better off without me too. My partner doesn't even come into the equation - how sad is that. I know he would move on fine. I'm just so tired of struggling every single day. I'm 39 years old. How much longer does life have to be this hard?

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    Anonymous

    Hi CrazyJo,

    I ask myself all the time, how much more can i take, how much more do i have to fight my disease, when will it finally get easier. so i know what you mean. i think this is a very lonely and isolating disease. there has to be a way that we can live better lives, the life we want for ourselves.
    i am glad you have your daughters, i dont really have anyone anymore, no one can constantly deal with me being sad

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    Anonymous

    Hi. I agree completely. I am 40 and have been struggling with life for a while now. My depression and anxiety stems from work and the pressure I am under. I am not able to cope with the pressure and wake up each morning sweating what the day will bring. I just want to quit and roll up into a ball and not be seen  

    My my wife has some understanding of what I'm going through but doesn't completely understand and I find it hard to talk to her about it. I feel weak for not being able to cope and manage this.

    My issues get compounded by thinking what will happen to my family if I quit work or took an easier job that paid less with less pressure  

    I feel I'm on a slippery slope where I want to give up and hide from the world. I don't think about harming myself so I should think myself lucky for that. 

    I am sure one day it will all work out for the best. I just hope I can get to that point without ruining mine or my families lives. 

    All the the best to everyone on this post and I hope we can all get through our pain one day. 

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    meeral20

    HealthShare Member

    I think I can relate to your problem sadgirl. I am 25years old and recently graduated from Uni with a bachelor’s degree but because of my depression and anxiety it felt pointless. I didn’t go to see a doctor but in fact I pushed myself and changed the city I used to live in. I thought if I move places it will help but it only lasted for few months and I was feeling sad and lonely again, in fact at one point I was thinking to quit my job and commit suicide as well.

    But then one night I randomly started talking to one of my friend who I haven’t known for a long time and I took all my frustration out and told her everything about what I was going through and How depress I was. She didn’t just told everything will be alright but instead we started counting my problems and started prioritising it. We started taking care of one at a time. For example: I couldn’t motivate myself to go to work every morning and never woke up on time so she started calling me every morning to wake me up since she is different city and you believe it or not it worked! Now I go to work on time every single day. Second thing was I was concern about my weight, I did have Gym membership but I never made it to gym. So we decided for me to join a boot camp and in last 6weeks I already lost 6 kgs. 

    Now I feel much better about myself and finally got some routine in my life but every now and then I feel depress and down again but now I have got enough strength in me to fight it back. If I ever feel too depressed I just go for a long walk or a drive. I carry my ipod with me to listen to some music. I start listening to sad music but after few songs play some happy music and guess what it changes my thinking pattern, I start observing all the little good things around me and that just cheers me up.
    Also try to help someone who needs help, do as much as you can, sometime helping others can cure your our problems as well. I still tell everything that I do to my friend and if I did well she always rewards me for it and if I didn’t, we start over again.

    Now I take every day as a new beginning, if I didn’t do anything right today, I try to make it better next day if not next day than day after next day.

    Well that’s my story; I hope it gives you some courage to fight your battles. Don’t forget asking for help doesn’t mean you have given up; it means you are trying your hardest.

    The strongest person in the fight is not the one who can throw strongest punch but the one who takes that punch and still be standing. J

    P.S: pardon my English, it is not that fluent but I am still working on it. J

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    Zorpho

    HealthShare Member

    I know what you're going through, I've heard a lot of bad reports on SSRI drugs as well as having experienced those suicidal ideation side affects. I won't go near them ever again they are nasty drugs, for me anyway. Those effects can sneak up on you, I can't risk the possibility of suicidal/homicidal behaviour, I've recently lost my 33 year old son in a house fire and am going through hell. I've tried Temazepam but its effects wear off quickly and I end up using 5 times the dose to get any sleep at all. Nipped that in the bud quick smart, I don't want to end up with an enormous habit then suffer those horrible withdrawals I've read about.
    There must be a natural way to deal with these awful feelings. I've had enough. Why is our society so affected by this epidemic of depression and anxiety ? There's something seriously wrong.

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    Renee Mill

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Empowering people is my passion and life work. I have been working as a Clinical Psychologist in private practice for over thirty years. I have … View Profile

    Your story is a heartbreaking one. No wonder you feel hopeless and stuck. Unfortunately finding the right treatment and getting well can be a long journey. The fact that you have a great support system is the first step in getting well. Having been a clinical psychologist for 35 years, I know that sometimes it takes time and perseverance. I believe every person has an "emotional clock" and one never knows when it will "click in". However, it always does. Yours may be taking a bit longer but do not give up. Keep having counselling and speaking to your medical team and trust that since you are doing all the right things, things will start moving when you are ready.

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