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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How can I best manage my anger?

  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • With a passion to see people move forward and break free from the barriers holding them back, Grant is a highly experienced counsellor with over … View Profile

    Anger is such a powerful emotion and can be very productive but it can also cause harm to others and ourselves and and result in the opposite effect of what we want. I've worked with many people who have struggled to gain control over their anger and I have found groups specifically dealing with anger are the most effective. I've also found that many people expect to get themselves sorted in a few sessions which is unlikely as most people have develop strong anger habits over their lifetime so expect a several month commitment, it is well worth it. Contact your local community/mental health and counselling organisations and find out what services are available to you in your area and get started. Good luck

  • Passionate about the counselling field, and how we can constantly improve ourselves to be the best we can be. I have ten years experience working … View Profile

    Anger is an emotion like any other, it is what we do with it that counts. Well managed anger can be positive and helpful. It can be essential in letting us know how strongly we feel about an issue, inviting us to consider whether some kind of change is needed.  Anger can also be signaling that we have some emotional issues from our past to deal with.

    Poorly managed anger tends to come out in ways that are hurtful. Holding onto anger over the long term is depleting of our energy and tends to affect our health and wellbeing.  Some people internalize anger - storing it within themselves, but we can only contain so much pain. It tends to come out later in stress, sickness or in angry explosions. Over time it can lead to rage and violence.

    As we can see it is in everyone's best interest to learn to manage thier anger, I would suggest that you make a commitment to yourself to learn effective strategies that can help you manage your anger and practice these every day for at least three montns, thats how long it takes to learn a new habit. Some strateigies that can help are:

    .  Learn relaxation techniques ( breathing in from the diaphragm, count to 5, and then breath out again, whilst saying “I am calm and relaxed, I am in control” about five to ten times, and repeat this every day.)  Believe it or not this simple technique has significant health benefits, as it changes the physiology in your body.

    . When you start to feel angy, slow down your pace and try and catch yourself, then take a few deep breaths before speaking - ask yourself “is it really that important? or ” What's the most helpful way of responding to this?.

    .  When you are feeling overwhelmed with anger you might have to negotiate some time out, find a place to calm down, make sure you make time to deal with the issues and not just bury them under the carpet. You will be much more effective dealing with issues when you have calmed down.

    . Release the energy of anger in physical ways that do not hurt or intimidate others like physical exercise, talking with someone who is capable of being supportive, shouting out your anger in an isolated place. Also consider writing about your anger and later destroying what was written.

     Having a good understanding that we cannot make another person change is key - that is for them to do, we can only control our own behaviour.  If you find these strategies difficult to implement, I would suggest seeing a professional counsellor who can help you work on specific anger issues that you may have.

  • Shelley Murphy

    Counsellor, Psychotherapist

    I work with Solution Focused Therapies with particular success with clients who have been controlled by their anxiety, phobias, depression, relationship, communication and self worth … View Profile

    Anger is an emotion like any other however we are often taught that it is an emotion that is bad and we shouldn't be feeling it so we repress it. Unfortunately it just because we haven't expressed it doesn't mean that it goes away. It builds up inside us and then ends up poking out in the wrong situation or at the wrong people. Which in turn reinforces our sense that anger is wrong.

    So how can you manage your anger?

    The key is to find the source of your anger and then change your relationship with your anger. It is possible to feel and express anger in positive productive ways. This will put the volcano inside you at rest and improve your relationship with yourself and others.

  • Fouz Fatima


    I work with adults on issues stemming from grief, loss, and life transitions. You may be feeling anxious, depressed, stuck, or going through waves of … View Profile

    Thanks for your question. I would first start by doing some self exploration. What purpose does the anger serve? How has it helped? How has it not helped? What other emotions exist with the anger?

    These might seem like big and overwhelming questions right now. Take it easy, start at your own pace and seek help so to explore and talk out your thoughts.

    Be kind to yourself. Every emotion exists for a reason. Once we can discover its purpose, we can learn to work with it, or learn to react in a different way. You've got this!

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