I gave birth to my stil born son, Toby, nearly five weeks ago. I'm not back to “normal” and I never will be. How can either of us go back to the way we were before we lost our precious children? It is probably only in the last week and a half that I have though I can start coping again. I could barely function enough to look after myself and my husband and my step children. If you would like to speak privately about this let me know. I know what you are going through and I have found that my talking to other parents who have experienced the same thing it has really helped.
I have found that by taking small steps it has helped. For example we went out to dinner on the weekend with some of our close friends. At the dinner table we did start to talk about Toby and they gave us the space and time to talk. I've let my friends know that I want to talk about him. I don't want them to feel awkward about bringing him up in front of me. I have found that talking about him really helps me too as it validates that he existed. I also organised some enlarged canvas prints of him with us and I have put these up around the house. I don't want him to be “forgotten” so I feel by putting these up it is a way of remembering him. because we had his name picked out before he was born my friend had already given me the letters to spell out his name to put on his door. We have put these up in our bedroom with a photo of Toby and my husbadn underneart.
These are just some small things that have helped me.
Please let me know if you wanted to email privately.
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