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  • Shared Experiences

    Has anyone else had a miscarriage and how did you deal with the emotions associated with it?

    Hi. I had a miscarriage almost 6 weeks ago now, I was 5 weeks pregnant, and are still finding it difficult to cope every now and again. I find it very hard to express my feelings and my husband says he is worried about me because he thinks I'm not coping very well (some days he is right, other days I feel ok). We had been trying for over a year to concieve, it has been difficult due to me having fertility issues. I feel like I'm an emotional wreck and sometimes the slightest little thing will make me want to break down crying. I'm worried I won't be able to fall pregnant again, or that I'll have another miscarriage.

    Has anyone else been in this situation? How did you get through it?
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • Rochelle @team healthshare

    HealthShare Member

    Hi Kylie



    I have had a miscarriage and it is so hard (although i did not have fertility issues). I know exactly how you feel and unfortunately as supportive and caring as our husbands can be they cant really understand the emotions behind it. The other issue is the hormones that are in our system post a miscarriage only exacerbate our emotions. I have also had a few friends who have miscarried and were also going through fertility and IVF. It is so hard and so unfair. The only thing I can tell you as that the odds are good, we are lucky in the day and age we live in in terms of the fertility assistance we can get. There is very very few women who dont get to have a baby if they want one. The path just may be rocky and longer than you want. It will happen but I know hearing that doesnt help cause all you want is for it to happen now.



    Getting support from others is one of the best things you can do so that you dont feel alone. Cause I promise you are not alone and the feelings you have are totally justified and normal. The other thing to do isĀ  focus on doing things that make you happy, doing yoga and meditation can be very helpful.



    If you have any specific questions please feel free to ask. There are lots of us out here who have been where you are now. Keep your head up and dont give up. IT will happen.

  • Tracey Clark

    HealthShare Member

    Hi,

    When we lost our first baby in 2009 we had been trying for almost 3 years to fall pregnant. After it happened I shut myself off from everyone - I couldn't talk about it to my friends, to my partner or to my family. I was feeling so much guilt and anger it was eating me up inside, and I'm certain that these are the reasons my next pregnancy was so complicated - I was being punished in some way for having another baby so soon after we lost Oliver.



    But I know now that I shouldn't have felt that way. This year I've worked really hard to move through what happened and finally I was coming out the other end. I started writing about what happened and it really helped to be able to get it off my chest, and now I can talk to people more openly. And through the talking I've discovered that many of the people that I know have been through the same thing.



    Today I've lost another baby. And I'm terrified of going back to being that empty shell that I was back in 2009, but I know that if I talk and actually allow myself to FEEL the emtions and ride the rollercoaster, I can get through this. And you can too.



    I'm really very sorry for your loss. If you're not coping, please speak to your GP, don't do what I did and bottle everything up because you're blaming yourself and you're sure that everyone else is too.

  • Tracey Bouchier

    HealthShare Member

    Hi,

    I had a miscarriage back in 1993. At the time I was really upset, but now after all this time I am fine about it. But I never really wanted to have childern. If it did happen it would have been fine, but if it did not, that was fine too. I belive in what ever does happen is meant to happen. There is more to womanhood than having babies.

  • Kylie Jones

    Health Professional

    It took awhile for me to start dealing with it, but I am so lucky to have a supportive family and friends. Talking made things easier and we have recently found out we are pregnant again! This pregnancy feels better and we have had no problems so far (fingers crossed it stays that way!). We are due for a scan in just over a week and are so excited!

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