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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Husband has anxiety and depression - where to from here?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Depression Mental Health
    After an argument one afternoon my husband drove himself to the hospital and presented with feelings of self harm/suicide. This led to an urgent appointment with a counsellor arranged by our GP where he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. We can't afford appointments so are waiting on bulk billing ones to be available. In the meantime my husband has spiralled into an anxious and sad mess. He has constant fears that I am cheating on him, his heart races for no apparent reason and he spends each day thinking and worrying. He works an early morning job and has been getting much better sleep but still has all day to sit around and stress. I have encouraged him to get some exercise and keep busy but getting the motivation to do so is hard for him. It is a roller coaster - I come home for lunch and he's great, come home from work and he's plummeted. He's wanting to end our marriage as it 'would just be easier'. He broke down over the weekend explaining he has no one to talk to. Help?
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    • Vivienne Colegrove
    • Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith
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    Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    It's hard to be in the situation of waiting for help, when you both feel it's so urgently needed. It's great your husband has taken the first step and gone to hospital, then seen his GP. I wonder if anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications were also discussed as a possibility at that appointment? Psychological strategies may work best in tandem with medication, especially where depression is acute. If he needs counselling support urgently, he might try calling Mensline (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) on 1300 789978, or Lifeline on 13 11 14. If he is concerned he may act on suicidal thoughts, support is available at Suicide Helpine on 1300 651 251, or for urgent assistance, ringing the psychiatric triage service at your local mental health service (part of your local hospital).. Another thing to think about is getting some support for yourself, as a concerned partner. It sounds like you are already doing a lot, all that you can in fact, to help your husband. Depression is really hard on relationships. You may benefit from someone to talk to yourself. Carers Australia offer up to six sessions of counselling free of charge to famiy members of people with an illness or disability. You would be able to see someone close to where you live, who is contracted by them to provide this service. Their contact information can be found at http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/how-we-work/national-programs/mental-health-carer-counselling/ All the best!

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    Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith

    Health Professional

    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    I think that Vivienne has offered you great advice.

    The only thing that I would add to what she wrote (she mentioned it) is that I think that it is very important that you look after yourself first.

    That is not a selfish thing to do - if you don't do that your capacity to care for your husband might get messed up.

    With care.

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