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Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners
How can I improve relationships and deal with issues constructively?
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My young adult son has struggled with self esteem and anxiety for years. He and my husband blame me for it - I criticised him too much, I don't have kind words for him… I am the bad guy to blame. I took note of everything when my son’s life went off track and tried to corrected, while my husband excused himself he didn’t know how to deal with issues… Yet my son and our friends adore him. What can I do to how to help my son? He self harmed himself, he doesn’t accept himself, he has no friends, girlfriend, is perfectionist, lonely and doesn't want to talk to him… Otherwise he is handsome, has good job, people like him very much, but it all stops there… I think he would rather escape the issue rather than to deal with it…
My husband and I have superficial relationship. He physically and emotionally abused me over the years and gives me a silent treatment whenever I don’t comply with his expectations. I projected my unhappiness onto my children.. -
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Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith
Health Professional
My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile
I am sorry to read that things are hard between you and your son. My over-riding impression from what you have written is that you love him and are concerned about his welfare - I think that you should praise yourself for that :-).
It might help if you suggested to him that he sees a clinical psychologist who has experience of working with clients who have anxiety issues (his GP should be able to give him a referral).
You mentioned that he has self-injured in the past - I am not sure from what you have written if he is currently self-injuring. If he is, you could suggest that he joins this forum: http://buslist.org/phpBB/index.php . It is a world-wide community which helps people to find coping mechanisms other than self-injury.
Disclosure: I am one of the volunteer administrators of the forum.
With care.
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