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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Should I end my relationship?

    Related Topic
    I am in what I believe to be a healthy, good, three and half year long relationship. We communicate well, respect each other greatly and are still loving and affectionate towards each other.

    However, I have on going issues with my partner's personality that mean I don't enjoy our time together as much as I believe I should. He can be quite negative, self-focused and a bit narcissistic.

    I have brought this up with him, and he has genuinely tried to resolve things with me. For me though, it is still a problem that distracts me from enjoying his company. I regularly find myself thinking about other men and what it might be like to be in a relationship with them.

    I am afraid to leave because I do feel confident that we have a strong and very positive relationship in many ways. Are these signs that this is not the man for me and should I wait for someone who I find easier to accept?

    I often feel quite offended by certain things he does or says. Am I too critical?
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    David Lawson

    Counsellor

    We all have times when we need to talk with a person who really listens to us, someone outside our family or social circle - … View Profile

    Sooner or later relationships lose their zing or it just doesn't seem to working or we start looking elsewhere. From what you have said when you have raised an issue with him he has done something about it. That tells me he wants to make the relationship work. You have two options leave and wonder if going to counselling may have worked or go to counselling and see if the relationship can be transformed. If you go to counselling then you can tell yourself well I tried and it did not make much difference but if you don't you spend the rest of your life in “wonder if” mode. Often talking to someone outside of the problem can be helpful to give you perspective and direction. Kind Regards.

  • Grace Gonzalez

    Counsellor, Psychotherapist

    I am a counsellor with over two decades of experience working with non-for-profit organisations, private organizations, secondary education, community health services, and private practice in … View Profile

    Hi
    Your question is interesting as it relates to most of us if not all of us. Should we stop something that doesn’t seem to bring us what we desire or need or should we wait and hope that what we have invested into it produces something special?
    There is a lot of information within you that if explored might bring clarity and confidence to commit to one or the other decision abovementioned.  Engaging in some kind of personal exploration with a counsellor or similar service provider will help you find this clarity, which in turn will translate to other areas of life involving relationships with others.  
    Also, writing a journal when you feeling certain strong emotions and reading it back after those emotions have stopped (or a week later) might provide you with some information.  It is sort of like you acting as your own counsellor for a while. see if there is something you might then want to take with you to a counsellor for deeper  and more neutral discussion.
     
    Good luck
    Grace

  • Chaser Xaviour

    HealthShare Member

    Sorry I cant edit my post. Thats one thing I hate about posting lengthly replies, is not being able to edit it, after its been submitted.

    Lets see what ive missed:

    gim=him

    ingadge=engage

    nuture=nurture (dont think I didnt notice)

     

    Thanks for reading.

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