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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Pregnancy Fear - how do I get past it?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Mental Health Pregnancy & Breastfeeding
    I have had 2 children - the first a caesarean due to complications, and secondly a VBAC. The 2nd birth happened very quickly in the end during which time I felt paralysed and out of control, nothing like what I have seen in birthing classes. The outcome was a healthy baby and a not-too physically scarred mother, but I can still vividly recall details of the birth and things said during the time. Being in the delivery suite now (as a visitor) leaves me in tears.

    I really want a caesarean delivery for my 3rd child (currently 28 weeks pregnant) despite knowing in my head that a natural birth would be better for the bub and my own recovery afterwards. Do I need counselling to move past the last birth experience? My obstetrician feels the last birth wasn't particularly traumatic in his opinion, so how do I get past the fear and anxiety which I think about constantly and lose sleep over?
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    Anonymous

    I'm not a professional but as a mother who had an emergency caesarean I can completely relate to trauma around birth. I thought about it for months after the delivery. I think first and foremost that your obs opinion is irrelavent in terms of how traumatic the birth was. It was traumatic for you so thats all that matters!

    If you want a caesarean you shouldn't feel ANY guilt about it and your ob should be supportive of your wishes. To be honest based on my own experience of healing from a caesarean and seeing and listening to my friends who had vaginal births around the same time as me, I had a much easier recovery and far less pain. My baby was comepltey unaffected by the caesarean, breastfed beautfully so based on my experience and healing time I will definitely be doing an elective caesarean 2nd time round. I have no desire what so ever to go through what I went through again during labour and nor do I feel the need to have counseling around the trauma of my birth. Time healed that for me.

    You should find yourself a supportive obstetrician who will respect your wishes and not feel pressured about “the natural way to birth”. Do what is best for YOU. Best of luck :)

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    Michelle Linmore

    Counselling Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Sex Therapist

    Birth trauma is much more common than we realize and I agree that it is irrelevant whether your obstetrician thinks the last birth was traumatic or not -it seems to have left you with quite a bit of anxiety and the teariness is probably a sign that it isn't fully resolved yet for you.  Given that you are facing another delivery soon, it is completely understandable that these feelings have been coming up.

    Did you know that in Australia your GP can refer you for non-directive pregnancy support counselling without diagnosing you with any mental health issue, and Medicare will provide a rebate for three sessions with a psychologist experienced in this area?  

    This may well be a good way to sort out in your own mind the best way forward here.  There are techniques such as relaxation training and self hypnosis which may assist significantly in preparing for your next baby (whichever method of delivery you choose).  I hope all goes well for you this time around.

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    Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    Hi, I recommend a counsellor and therapist who works with women to heal and integrate their traumatic birth experiences. Her name is Rachana Shivam. You can phone to make an appointment: 0430 798 551. She has a wealth of experience in the area as this is her specialty. All the best.

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