It sounds like the infidelity issue has not been resolved for you, therefore you are unable to let it go in order to move on. Couples need to do some particular work in order to recover from infidelity. First, the person who committed the infidelity needs to cease all contact with the other party and allow their partner to ask questions and seek clarity in order to move beyond the initial shock. Second, couples need to understand (without excusing the affair) what led to the infidelity, in order to make sense of it (this may include things like understanding the link between alchohol use and impulsive actions that may later be regretted, for example). Last, couples need to develop a clear agreement about what is and isn't OK in their relationship (e.g. "We agree that we will not drink to excess while in the company of an attractive person of the opposite sex"), and have a plan for ensuring they 'affair-proof' their relationship (e.g. being very clear about what will happen if agreements are not respected). All three steps are needed in order to restore trust, which is fundamental to a healthy relationship and being able to move on together. Often people need help in counselling to complete these steps.
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