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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Is menopause the cause of my wife's declined sex drive?

    Related Topics
    Menopause Relationships Women's Health
    i am a 51 year male, very good health. wife 46, very good health but has a very declined sex drive due to menopause starting.

    I am the the opposite.i have a extremely high sex drive.
    • 2 answers
    • Beverley Aronstan
    • Dr Margaret Redelman
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    Beverley Aronstan

    Psychologist

    I am a registered psychologist with many years of counselling experience in the field of relationships and fertility issues. In particular my focus is on … View Profile

    The time of menopause can be a very emotionally challenging time for a woman. She is facing the end of her reproductive life and this can be confronting. She needs to be made to feel extra special and that she is still loved and desired. There also could be some physical discomfort on her part as menopause can lead to vaginal dryness which causes intercourse to become painful. This can be overcome with the right lubricant and enough foreplay. If her sex drive has declined of recent this could be due to menopause but this might be only one of the reasons it is impossible to know without having a frank discussion with her. There might be other factors like stress from some other source.

    I realise that this is frustrating for you as it seems like at this point your sex drives are at opposite ends. It is important to realise that this is not  going to be a problem if you do not make it a big issue. There are many ways of increasing your intimacy both physically and emotionally. I believe you as a couple would benefit from some couple therapy with a therapist that addresses this discrepancy.

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    Dr Margaret Redelman

    GP (General Practitioner)

    I come from a general practice background and have over 30 years experience in sexual health. I am an accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist with the … View Profile

    Dear concerned husband,

    It is quite possible that menopausal changes are causing sexuality changes for your wife but at the same time it is important not to blame all the changes on menopause.

    Each woman's response will be different based on her individual sexuality, biology, psychology, relationship and life circumstances. All these factors need to be assessed together. The most important aspects are prior sex life leading up to the menopause and the communication skills and sexual knowledge you and your wife have. Openness of communication is needed to find solutions and to broaden and explore what can be done rather than focusing on what has changed or been lost.

    Reading sexuality/educational books together can be a good way to open communication. Speaking with a sex therapist can also open communication.

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