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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    i know im suffering depression. pride wont let me talk about it

    after work i have a coffee at a cafe by myself and that is the only personal social event i have in my life. i want to seek help and have gone to the doctors with the intention of raising this, but just cant say it. i have suffered with it as long as i can remember. my mother was highly depressed and attempted suicide several times. i have not ever wanted to do that though. after my marriage break up 15 years ago, i ended up with epelepsy as i simply fell to pieces. i cry over silly things, sad and happy things. in my younger days i just packed my bags and moved to another city to sort myself out. i have 2 children and a grandchild and just cant do that. i want to face up to my issues. i want a life of reasonable happiness. i have tattoos and a bit of a rough look . its so hard to admit weakness. offer
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    Jenny Z

    HealthShare Member

    Depression is not a weakness it is a curable illness that absolutely needs medical attention. I had exactly the same thought and in the end i sort medical help or go crazy. I didn't want anyone to know not even my partner but once I sort help and I'm still a long way from climbing out of my deep dark well (I call it) I eventually told my partner and then my children and some friends. I am not ashamed of my depression anymore.  I also have a to do list. I have only been able to acheive 10% on that list and the items are not big acheivements by no means. Simple things like having a shower each day, getting up 1hr before I need to leave for work and not 15min & rushing, not drinking each night to drown my misery. Yes it is the biggest uphill climb out of that deep deep dark well, but with the medical and professional help I am now receiving I know there will be better days. Utube comedy at night when you are alone, your favourite old music clips when days were happier. I read books about women who have been to hell & back not happy reading but certainly inspirational. Exercise is one of the best things your can do and lots of fresh vegies & unproccessed foods & of course good quality chocolate. Good luck, you will make it. 

  • 1

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    steven1

    HealthShare Member

    Thank you for your support and words of advise. (I really liked the chocolate idea). a deep dark well is a very good description for where i have fallen mentally as well.  It's nice to hear from others that have suffered alone. i just felt no one would understand how i felt or would judge and label me and call me a sook. i  put on a  brave face at work and about, but have felt very very alone even in a room full of people. i see the shame in my son's face when his friends are around home, and the always see me sitting in the lounge room in the same spot. I have made the first step by admitting my problem, the second was using this great web site and sharing it with some one else. i do feel a bit stronger from doing that, so i will use this strength to see a doctor monday and not put it off any more. i must, i will ! your words really have given me inspiration to move ahead and start enjoying life. i do not expect it to be a simple or easy journey, but i now have the support i have longed for and can share my feelings with confidence. i really hope things will get easier for you  as your list gets shorter im sure it will. u tube comedy is a great idea as i have been finding it hard to smile, let alone laugh. thank you thank you thank you.   

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    My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile

    Steven1, I think that both jennyz and Johnny have offered you excellent advice.

    Writing as somebody who is in remission from depression, one of the hardest things that I have had to do is to accept that I needed professional help.
     
    In my case that involved setting up a care team (a psychiatrist and a clinical psychologist). Thanks to their skills my life is now rich and full.

    Remember that “depression” is  just  a word - it is not a life-long sentence.

    Please get help from MH professionals - a combination of their skills and your hard work (I am not trying to pretend that it is easy) means that you will be able to recover.






  • 1

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    steven1

    HealthShare Member

    kiwi 33, thank you for your admission and words of support.  it really does help to talk about these types of  problems to each other as it builds strength and acceptance to face the path to recovery.  did not make it  to the doctors this week but i really do want to and i will do so.  every day i analise all the silly little things that  rattle my brain and feed my depression, and try to look at those problems from different points of views. over the years i have become podantic and a perfectionist.  i have to get rid of those traits as they bring me down  regualary.  im sure my fellow workers at my job will be pleased to see that change.  that should build better work place relations and make me feel not so estranged.  with the help of the proffesionals i really believe i can do this.  i know it will not be easy and must accept that fact and keep pushing forward.  im glad for you for getting back into a happy life and wish you all the best in the future.  ( go get em all blacks) yes another kiwi !

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    Anonymous

    Hi, Sorry to hear of your struggle. You are definitely not alone. I too went through the same thing with pride, but realised I was scared. There's no weakness in being depressed. It's a very hard thing to go through & takes a really tough person to get through it. It takes real character to admit something like that to yourself & to seek help. If you end up seeking help & get a bad response, don't be discouraged. You don't need people like that. Seek out people & professionals that understand & will help. Depression is now very common & there is no shame in it. You didn't ask to have it & it's not your fault. Talking to your Dr. about it will be hard but do it in small steps if you can't handle it. I hope it will be a relief to get it off your chest. Keep fighting, you are not alone & deserve to be happy.
    Good luck :)

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