It is important to perhaps consult with a psychiatrist if you are feeling suicidal and to possibly get your current medication reviewed by a psychiatrist, in terms of medication type and amount. You can also have a list of crisis contacts on hand, should you need them. It's good to have contacts such as Suicide Line, Life line or Beyond Blue. Being off medication for a couple days can be unsettling, but it sounds as though there's something deeper going on that has not been explored.
It is a good idea to identify when the depression started. Were there any significant life events or stressors that may have contributed to the depression? Was there a death in the family, for example? Alternatively, I could also question whether a past event had triggered an earlier traumatic event from your childhood years. You may be experiencing a lot of negative thoughts or memories from the past that are difficult to switch off. If you can identify what caused the depression, then you can switch back to that stresser and create an action plan to resolve the stress.
A number of things can also help you with depression. For instance, at least 15 minutes of daily vigorous exercise or 30 minutes of less intensive exercise, on a daily basis. Healthy diet is important or grazing regularly, if there's not much of an appetite. Supportive friends and family can also help. Social contact and leisure activities can provide distractions. Also, limited negative ruminations and activities give you a sense of achievement and pleasure.
Motivation improves with action. There will be no change in mood without a change in thoughts and behavior. Also, remind yourself what your values are and what's important in your life. You can then create a list of goals to achieve. Start with the simple goals and proceed on to the more difficult goals, to give you a sense of confidence.
One final thing to check is if you are going through menopause or whether you can rule out a medical condition that is affecting your current mood. Good luck.
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