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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How can I best support my partner during her pregnancy and depression?

    My partner is suffering with clinical depression and she is also in the first trimester of pregnancy. She went off medication for depression when she found out she was pregnant but slipped back into a depressive hole. She is now back on medication but has relied soley on her mother and does not allow me to see or contact her at all, telling me she needs ‘space’ and ‘time’. She says she does not know if she loves me or wants to be with me, despite the fact we are having a baby together. It is a relatively new relationship. Should i hold on to hope or should i plan to move on to becomming a single father?
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • This sounds like a challanging and painful time for you.

    I am glad to hear that your partner has resumed treatment for her depression- how long has she been on the medication for? It can take up to 6 weeks to see some progress from the medication so please keep this in mind if she has just recently resumed the medication. Is she receiving counselling?

    I think it is really important to remind yourself that what she says may be the Depression talking and not her. Depression can take over your thoughts and send a person on a downards spiral where she may not be aware of the hurt she might be causing. Of course this does not make your pain any less significant.

    I think it is important that you have support around you at this time- perhaps even consider seeing a counsellor? When your partner is further along in her recovery process it would be worth consdering couples counselling….she may not be well enough to do this at the moment.

    For now, letting her know you are there if she needs you to listen and trying to validate what she is experiencing without trying to fix it  will be helpful.

    It may help you to contact PANDA and talk to a counsellor- PANDA speak to mums and dads to be with issues like the one you are describing. Their number is: 1300726306.

    Take care.

  • I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    I agree with Dr Melanie Strang on all of the above!

    Depression can be ‘contagious’ - that is, feelings of powerless and hoplessness that are characteristic of depression can ‘infect’ those who care about the depressed person.

    It's really important that you hold on to hope - it may be helpful to think that for now, you are the one holding hope for the future of your relationship and family, just temporarily, until your partner can find it again for herself. Use all the support you need so that you and your relationship do not become casualties of the illness.

  • MrGus

    HealthShare Member

    Hi, thanks so much for your help. Alot has happened since I asked this question, long story short, she miscarried the child and did not tell me. The first I knew of it was when she was in hospital after having an emergency hysterectomy. She then ended our relationship from her hospital bed despite me being there and providing as much love and support as I possibly could. There is just no helping some people I guess. In any case thank you both for the advice, it is very much appreciated.

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