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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How do I stop history repeating itself (cheating, drinking)?

    Related Topics
    Bipolar Disorder Depression Mental Health
    I have been on seroquel for bipolar since the start of year and it was not working. My wife left three months ago due to abuse. I tried killing myself afterwards and got found. Now my level of pristiq has been risen to 100mg and I feel calmer now. I still get upset, depressed and annoyed but the severity of it is totally different.

    I had cheated on my ex many times. I ended up telling her. I feel so different now that I actually feel lost. I dont know how to act. That person who I was seems gone but I just feel part of me will still want to act that way as I have been like that for so long. I want to change it and I dont know how. I want to stop making the mistakes from the past over and over again and have some chance at being a better Father and Husband. The meds are doing their job. I just want to do mine.
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    • Damien Haines
    • Lenzo78
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    Damien Haines

    Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist

    Damien Haines is a registered Clinical Psychologist who brings a warm and empathetic approach to therapy. He emphasises engagement in the world and encourages clients … View Profile

    Wow. They are some seriously big questions, and I cannot even begin to answer them without knowing a lot more about you. However, now that you have a stable base from the medication, now would be an excellent time to begin to better understand your drives and motivations. My suggestion would be to look for a psychologist who is proficient in emotion regulation strategies, examples include therapies such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) or Mindfulness Based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (various acronyms).

    Without knowing any specifics it would seem that with better emotionl regulation you would be less likely to be as impulsive, be better able to manage stress (incredibly important for Bi-Polar Disorder), and be able to connect better with the “new” you. After that I would really need to know more.

    Please search for psychologist here.

    Good luck

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    Lenzo78

    HealthShare Member

    Based on my experience you are only at the stage where you are aware you can't continue like but you are still tempted. Real change only happens over time and after facing your demons on a daily basis. You will still make mistakes (eg: taking numbers and one too many drinks) however they ll become smaller with less impact in your stable life. Then maybe after 5 years when you look back you ll realize you are a different person. However don't lower your guard as it is a lifetime quest. All the best mate.

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