I counsel a number of clients who appear before the courts on charges of road rage.
My recommended solution is to create a new habit using “The Stop, Find, Method” which is outlined below. This method is based on a new therapy called Cognitive Principle Therapy which uses principles to change to habits, rather than trying to directly change behaviour. Changing behaviour creates resistance, whereas creating a new habit doesn't. The princple to develop against anger is “calm”. 80% of clients report a substantial reduction in their anger after one week.
For road rage, start saying Stop, Find, Calm in your head for the first 5 minutes your in the car. HOWEVER, you must learn the habit by following these rules:
- The phrase is a direction from the conscious mind to the sub-conscious mind
- The new habit is created by repeating that phrase at least 100 times a day for 7 days. During the first 3 days do not try to use the phrase to overcome the road rage, only to create the new habit.
- It is very important that the conscious mind has complete control and takes no responsibility for finding “calm”. That means you don’t think about why you need to be calm. Don’t try and relax and be calm. “DO NOTHING!” Otherwise, you will activate the patterning system in the sub-conscious mind and it will associate the new habit with the bad habit of road rage.
- Say the words Stop, Find, Calm as though they were in another language which you didn’t understand.
You say the three words in your head, not out loud. You can say them any time of the day. It only takes 5 minutes a day to say it 100 times. You can split them up during the day. If you drive every day, then your car is the best place to say the words.
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