Generally parents want the best for their offspring. But sometimes acting with best intentions can implicitly convey certain expectations, for example, that a child behaves in a certain way or fulfills certain criteria when relating to others. I was curious about the idea around your son not being ‘fully emotionally invested’ in relationships. Is that an expectation you have of him?
We are living in a time when young people particularly are under a lot of pressure to position their sexual identity, for example as ‘heterosexual’ or ‘homosexual’. Such an expectation has arisen from the growing acceptance of gay identity and the contemporary dominance of the notion of a genetic basis for sexual orientation. So it is not surprising that parents assume they have a role to play in assisting their child to align with a particular identity category.
I'd suggest that the important thing here is that you demonstrate love and acceptance to your son. In many families, neither the ‘confrontation’ nor the ‘coming out’ occurs: the development of sexual identity just happens organically and there is a parallel acceptance by parents of who their child is becoming. Knowing who we are is a journey and happens over time. If you can step back and accept the choices your son makes around how and in who he ‘invests’ his emotions, while similtaneously showing him love and respect, things will probably work out just fine.
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