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Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners
How do I help a friend who is addicted to drugs?
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One of my closest friends began experimenting with cocaine a few months ago. It started out as something fun that she would try at parties. But now I realised how addicted she is and she takes cocaine on an almost daily basis. She has told me how great it feels and that she can't stand to go with withdrawal. I don't think she realises how big of a problem it is yet, but I am extremely worried. How can I help her? -
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Dr Toni Metelerkamp
Clinical Psychologist, Psychologist
Toni works with adults and couples, and specialises in diagnosing and treating anxiety (panic disorders and obsessive-compulsive disorder), phobias, substance and gambling, addictions, suicide and … View Profile
Worrying about a friend can be tricky, especially if the friend doesn’t think there is anything to worry about. For example, telling a friend they “have a problem” or that you are “concerned” for them is likely to create distance between you if the friend is not yet ready to make any changes, or doesn’t think there is a problem. If possible, start by being willing to hear her side of the story. She may have a fair bit to say about the “good” side of using. By this I mean the things that she feels the drug does for her. If she is continuing to use the drug it is serving a function, and it would be useful to explore the function it serves before trying to talk about the “bad” side of her use.
When exploring the topic try to ask questions that gather information rather than lecturing her. Don’t assume you know her reasons or experiences. Try to use questions that demonstrate your genuine interest. You can help her explore her drug use by using open-ended questions. Start your questions with what, when, why and how. You could ask things like “what’s it like for you when you don’t use compared to when you do use?”. Be open to discussion about what she sees as the good side of using because that gives you some sense of the function that the drug serves for her. You can also ask questions like “Would you know if your use was becoming problematic?” or “how would you know if you were becoming reliant on the drug?”
As a friend, you can help her explore her use, in a non-judgmental way, and you can help her talk things through in a rational way. We often kid ourselves about behaviours and talking it out with someone we trust can make the patterns more obvious. Remember, you can help her explore the issues but you can’t change the way she sees it if she isn’t yet ready for change.
I wish you luck.
Toni
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Dr Joanne Dennison
Counselling Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychologist, Psychotherapist
The best thing you can do for a friend who is addicted to drugs, is to be supportive. Your friend is less likely to be successful in giving up using drugs if she is doing it because of someone else wanting her to. You could provide your friend with information about the drug and what giving up may involve, however, the choice of whether she gives up using is hers. Whilst you can voice your concerns and opinion to her (for example, “I am concerned about the effects of your drug use because I care about your welfare”), you may get pushed away if she thinks you are being judgemental or giving her an ultimatum. Various confidential helplines can provide you with more assistance (for example ADIS - the phone number varies between states).
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