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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Is my uncontrollable lying a coping mechanism or something else?

    Related Topics
    Anxiety Depression Mental Health
    I am 22 and in 2012 was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anxiety and PTSD after being sexually abused and raped over many years. When I first got help for my issues, my GP, psychiatrist and psychologist all agreed that I was making up stories as a coping mechanism. But two years on, fortnightly psychologist visits and multiple medication changes(current is pristiq and seroquel) and I can't control the lying consciously it just happens then after I am aware of it and it makes me feel worse. My psychologist still thinks its a coping mechanism but I don't think it is. Any thoughts? Its making each day harder.
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    Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    It sounds like you perhaps have an idea about what function lying serves for you that the phrase ‘coping mechanism’ doesn't seem to capture? 
    You may find it helpful to deepen your own enquiry into what the lying is about - here are some questions that may help you think about it some more.
    * What is happening for you when you find that you are lying more often?
    * What is going on in your life when you find you are being more truthful?
    * How do you feel when you imagine being truthful all the time, in all circumstances?
    * What does lying achieve for you?
    * What does telling the truth achieve for you?
    * Have you made a list of the ‘pros and cons’ of lying? What would be on each list? Which list has more going for it?

    It is important to think about these (and I'm sure you could generate many more) questions with an attitude of being non-judgemental, non-blaming and genuinely curious - as though you were just getting to know the part of yourself that lies a little better.

    You are the expert about what is really going on for you - counselling works best when it helps you connect to your own answers in a way that makes sense to you.

    Good luck!

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    Karen Amos

    Counsellor, Personal Trainer

    Walk and Talk is just what you need to begin living a life that you love. I'm Karen Amos and at Walk and Talk Australia … View Profile

    Vivian and Jeremy have provided some great answers to your question with alot of information there for you to explore.  I simply wanted to share an article with you that I read recently about lying.  It appealed to me as I used lying alot in my teens and twenties and found it quite the challenge to curb and eventually stop.  This article helped to explain why I chose lying Vs the truth.  I'm not sure if it will have any truth for you but it can't hurt to share.  It's not called Healthshare for nothing right?  

    I sure hope you find a way to that helps you find the truth amongst all the pain you have experienced to date.  Kindly - Kaz

    http://www.oprah.com/spirit/When-to-Lie-When-to-Tell-the-Truth

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