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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    Why can't I control when I cry?

    For as long as I can remember I have cried as the way to express my emotion, even if I'm not sad etc. I can't stand that If I'm having any kind of conversation or conflict to which I'm being questioned, put on the spot, disagree or serious topics, tears stream down my face as if it was a waterfall. Then I can't stop!

    I am now 23 and extremely embarrassed that I always cry. My husband has had enough of seeing tears down my face and black panda eyes but no matter how much I try It keeps happening…..

    Can anyone provide some indite as to why this happens? and how can I learn to control my face?
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    David 'Bhakti' Gotlieb has 30yrs experience and brings understandng, compassion and surgical precision that gets results for his clients.He developed ‘Healing Inner Conflict’ a simple, … View Profile

    There are often big differences between the way we would like to react to things and the way we do in the moment. Most likely this is due to early childhood conditioning whereby the crying was a natural reaction to being overwhelmed by being put on the spot etc. Usually the reason these mechanisms reoccur later in life is to point us in the direction of healing trying to happen. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy would help you override this mechanism but wouldn't develop a healing relationship with the part of you that still feels like an infant at certain times under pressure. Healing Inner Conflict would help you follow your signals of disturbance to find out how this mechanism got there in the first place and what sort of internal and external intervention would have you able to be emotional when you want to be (as opposed to triggered and unabe to respond  as you would like to) and assertive when you need to be. This way when you are put on the spot or in conflict situations you are likley to be able respond in an adult way because you know your internal process is a childhood reaction that you will have already dealt with. Good on you for seeking assistance, this mechanism is not something ‘wrong ’ with you, it is simply a part of you trying to evolve by showing you its limitations. To the degree you are able, try to help that part. I hope this is somewhat helpful.

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