Hi and thank you for putting your worries ‘out there’ so that we can all learn together. To begin with you sound very self aware and that is really good for you. You can see what the signs your body is sending and you know you do not want to travel that road again.
I often hear my clients knowing what the underlying problem is, yet trying to treat/fix everything else except the origins of the depression/anxiety/major stress. Are you adressing your grief over your Uncle's sudden passing with your psychologist?
Often grief is difficult to deal with because it simply makes no sense. One minute a loved one is here, then they are gone. The ‘how’ and ‘why’ never make sense and that is why thoughts keep on turning over and over in our minds. Naturally, we are trying to find a way to make it right and to make it fit somewhere, and ultimately we need to find a place where we can give it some good attention.
My heart goes out to you during this struggle. It isn't easy trying to maintain a brave face, while battling sadness and worry inside. Grief can sometimes be resolved by doing the thing that you think you would like to do, but don't feel as if you have the courage too. I'm not sure if that fits for you, but I have used this with clients experiencing deep grief and it is like healing to the wound.
Other places you might wish to look at are your coping toolbox. With your helpers, put together a collection of coping methods that work for you, so that you can begin to help yourself as well.
I wish you lighter days,
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