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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How can I keep calm or less troubled over this situation?

    My dad has been acting really weird lately (he has bipolar and Parkinsons). He was hospitalised end of november and is staying until mid january. I know my mum is not telling me the whole story about what is going on with him (and perhaps she doesn't know the full story either) and this is worrying me.
  • Find a professional to answer your question

  • David Lawson

    Counsellor

    We all have times when we need to talk with a person who really listens to us, someone outside our family or social circle - … View Profile

    Sounds like things are all over the place for you. Most likely your dad feels similar as well given he has been in hospital recently. Both of his conditions can be unsettling to those around him.

    Not sure why but you say that he is only with you for a few more weeks - which means your anxiety (the feelings your having about the situation) will probably ease/lessen once he goes.

    From my perspective you have an advantage - things have been weird and will be so for the next few weeks. Which means you may not be comfortable about having your dad around or seeing him not well but you know that you will be uncomfortable. Yes you do not want to feel uncomfortable but at least you know it is going to happen.

    I wonder if your mum is feeling a little bit like you as well - so it could be helpful to have a chat with her.

    As mentioned your dad is probably not feeling well also and having a chat with him about how your feeling could help you to better understand how he is feeling.

    No easy steps for your situation but talking to a counsellor could help - talking to someone who is outside of the problem often reduces the frustration or anxiety of a situation.

    All the best.

  • Want more love and connection in your life? Want to experience lasting positive change? COMPELLING NEW RESEARCH IN SELF-AWARENESSWe can give you new information that … View Profile

    Anxiety is an experience of nervousness that occurs when our mind is focusing on possibilities that may have a fearful outcome. Chronic Anxiety is where one does this a lot and often. A little anxiety is helpful as it keeps us on our toes and tells us something needs to change in your thoughts or your environment. 

    If you are feeling anxious, it helps to identify whether we are having fearful thinking, or you are in an unsafe environment, or both, and then identify steps you can take to rectify the situation and return back to comfortable feelings of calmness and peace.

    If your environment is unsafe, what can you do to fix that?  Go to a different place, visit a friend or loved one, chat with family over the phone, or invite someone supportive to come to you may be an option. When feeling anxious, connecting actions work the best! Reserve the fight, flight, freeze responses for real danger. 

    If your thoughts are what is creating your anxiety, you can take control of thoughts and focus them on a more positive outcome Lesson 1 from A Course in Miracles is great for refocusing the mind, and my 7 Sense Centering Exercise on my blog is also very useful when used often. These practices can re-train the mind and teach it to focus on the positive and the loving. Focusing on the uncomfortable outcomes is a destructive habit and a good one to change. 

    As you learn these skills, and retrain your mind, your father can learn them from you. What a gift for the New Year. Teach only Love for that is who you are. Wishing you every success,

    Ron Cruickshank
    http://www.counsellinghobart.com

    Visit my site for your complimentary e-book “Self Healing for Better Relationships” 

  • 1

    Agree

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    it's tough being in the situation where you are not being told the whole story about what may be going on for your Dad. Perhaps your Mum thinks she is protecting you by not telling you everything, in which case it may be worth letting her know that it would help you to know more. She could also be managing her own anxiety about what is happening to your Dad by either not wanting to talk about it, and/or not wanting to think about all of the details - it may be too overwhelming for her right now. Carers Australia are an organisation who offer free (government funded) counselling to families of people who are sick or disabled, to provide extra support at difficult times. You may consider giving them a call or checking out their website. Counselling can happen with one of their contract counsellors close to where you live. http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/how-we-work/national-programs/national-carer-counselling-program/

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