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Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners
How do I support my friend who has been locked up for 2 weeks?
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Nice person who I have known for some years has lost a parent to an unexpected early death (not suicide) over the last year has been self harming (cutting) , drinking , mixing medications and smoking weed. Occasionally she goes on a health kick stops drugs and alcohol and goes flat out at the gym but recently has called a bunch of people including myself who didn't answer the phone ( I was on the phone but called back 10 min later) in the time she had rung around she had left messages about killing herself but someone called the police and she has been taken into care and we are now out of contact.
Upon her release what can I do for her, what should I say as support? she is young and wants a family she had just broken up with the guy she was seeing for a couple of weeks and I think this may have been the straw that broke the camels back. She has been angry and lashing out at her friends who in some cases have stopped speaking compounding her issues of rejection. I like her too, a lot…. -
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HealthShare Member
I want to help her, I know that telling her how I feel now isn't the right time but I want to be there for her she has supported me so much in the past I feel I owe it to her
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Dr Simon Easterbrook-Smith
Health Professional
My research interests include immunology and the mechanisms of amyloid formation. The latter has implications for people who are dealing with Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's Disease … View Profile
Generally my suggestion would be to just sit with your friend, letting her know that you will listen (without judging) to whatever she wants to talk about.
More specifically, as far as her self-injury (“cutting”) is concerned, you could suggest that she joins this support forum: http://buslist.org/phpBB/index.php .
It is a world-wide community which supports people who self-injure and encourages them to find other (more helpful) coping mechanisms.
Declaration of interest: I am one of its volunteer administrators.Report this post
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They have taken her phone so I still have no contact (yet) to be honest I'm not 100% sure what the spacific reason she us being kept in for or where (could be a few reasons) I found out some from work and not too much being a privacy thing, I think I only got told because I was being asked questions, as soon as it seems appropriate I will bring up the forum, thank you for your time and help :)
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Jennifer Grant
Psychologist
New practice opened Feb 2018. Seewebsite www.coffspsychneuro.com.au I'm passionate about working with people from all walks of life to help them create a more vital, … View Profile
I wholly support Simon’s response – be present with your friend, non-judgmentally, with kindness and compassion. And encourage her to make connections with both others who are also suffering (eg via the online forum) and professional helpers. With some luck, your friend is receiving some good psychological support whilst an inpatient, and this may lead to recognition of the value of longer term psychological interventions. Encourage and support any moves your friend makes towards learning healthy new skills in the face of her experience of suffering.
Please also be kind to yourself – recognise times when your friend may lash out and hurt you, and speak (gently but assertively) about your own boundaries. Sharing your friend’s journey will call for compassion. You may be interested to develop your compassion-awareness by doing some of the audio exercises freely available at http://www.self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3.html and http://mindfulselfcompassion.org/meditations_downloads.php
More information about compassion is also available at these websites.
I wish you and your friend well.
JennyReport this post
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