First off, thanks for posting your question here. I know it is hard to write about it but it feels good to express your concerns somewhere. I too feel a lot like you have described, though perhaps not with the former addicitons you mentioned. My advice as a fellow sufferer is this:
1. Take each day as it comes - ie concentrate on the now and dont worry to much about the future (the only bad thing about this is that people may percieve you as disorganised, but see point no. 3).
2. Keep busy. Take up hobbys and projects that will occupy your mind and stop you from turning bad thoughts over and over. Make sure they are the kind of activities that are easily accessible to you and that you can either spend 15 mins on, or whole day on. For example, I made a table from scratch. Never did wood work before and it took ages and was ultimately a bit rough but the activity of keeping my mind busy was great (plus, it was satisfying seeing something I made myself).
3. Dont let people over burden you. Tell them about your situation, if its ok to, and that you may not be in the best frame of mind at times.
As well as these I've found this website www.suicideforum.com/ to be the absolute best resrouce for support (dont let the name put you off).
Anyway, these are the things I find helpful, and I hope they help you!
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