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  • Q&A with Australian Health Practitioners

    How can I tell if I'm depressed or just over reacting?

    Related Topics
    Depression Mental Health Postnatal Depression
    I gave birth to my 5th child 6 months ago and nearly all through my pregnancy and since the birth I have felt as if my partner just doesn't care. He doesn't pay any attention to me and when he gets home from work he's quite happy to go outside into the shed and play games on his phone and smoke all night.

    Meanwhile, I'm inside stressing out trying to get the kids organized with homework, dinner plus general cleaning which never ends and the only time he notices is if I cause a big scene and get angry. Sometimes he will come in and help and other times he just acts like he doesn't care. He is generally an awesome Dad to the kids but not a supportive partner. I feel down a lot and if I'm happy it normally only lasts a few days until he does something else to piss me off then I'm back to being sad and angry again. I've told him how angry it makes me but after making up it doesn't take long before we're arguing again. I don't know if I'm depressed or just overwhelmed by my large family.
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  • Women's Health Queensland Wide

    Women's Health Queensland Wide provides free health information for Queensland women. View Profile

    You certainly sound as if you have a lot on your plate and you feel unsupported.
    A poor relationship with your partner and /or feeling unsupported by partner or family can put you at risk of postnatal depression. Obviously the attempts you have made to get support from your partner gave been short lived and are not working for you. It is estimated that a new baby will contribute 30-40 hours a week of extra work to a household. To accommodate this extra workload changes to everyone’s routines will be required. Partners can also feel overwhelmed and withdraw. However, to get the help you need I think it might be time to see a counselor or Dr. either alone or as a couple.
    Please click on the link and share this information with your partner.
    http://www.womhealth.org.au/factsheets/pnd.htm
    Brenda
    Women’s Health Educator
    Health Information Line, Women’s Health Queensland Wide

    Women living in Queensland can also call our Health Information Line - a free information and referral service for Queensland women - on 3839 9988 or 1800 017 676 (toll free outside Brisbane).

    Please note that all health information provided by Women’s Health Queensland Wide is subject to this disclaimer


    Brenda
    Women’s Health Educator
    Health Information Line, Women’s Health Queensland Wide

    Women living in Queensland can also call our Health Information Line - a free information and referral service for Queensland women - on 3839 9988 or 1800 017 676 (toll free outside Brisbane).

    Please note that all health information provided by Women’s Health Queensland Wide is subject to this disclaimer

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  • Vivienne Colegrove

    Counsellor

    I have been working in Eltham, Melbourne as a relationship and family counsellor for over twelve years. I draw on current theory and research about … View Profile

    It sounds like you and your partner may be both struggling with the demands of a large famiy and a new baby - and it's possible he is coping with this by withdrawing, leaving you feeling like you're having to do it all. Relationship counselling can be a helpful forum to work through what is going on for both of you, and using this knowledge to put in place ways of responding to overwhelm that attend to each of your needs individually, and your needs as a couple and family (these are not mutually exclusive, but may involve careful thought and planning!).

    It may be a good idea to see your GP if you are concerned that you may be suffering from depression. If you live in Victoria, an excellent service for mothers is PANDA (Post and Ante Natal Depression Assocation) - http://www.panda.org.au. They have a lot of info on their website and run a range of support groups and other services.

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  • Margie Ulbrick

    Counsellor

    I am a Melbourne Relationship Counsellor and Family Lawyer who is skilful in helping people get out of the pain of relationship distress and create … View Profile

    Good on you for reaching out to this website to ask for help. It's important that you get support at this overwhelmingly challenging time. Getting new relationship skills will help both of you in your new family situation and in managing the demands of a large family. It's great that you see he is an awedome Dad. It's possible that he too feels overwhelmed or helpless and so he retreats to his mancave. Get some relationship counselling and you will have an opportunity to air these things and change your patterns. Getting the love and support you both want is essential and a skilled counsellor can help you here. You may be depressed and/or over reacting and given what you are coping with, neither would be surprising. It is important then to seek further assistance. All the best.

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