I can hear the frustration about feeling overworked and being taken for granted, as well as the concern he’s probably feeling about the conflict that arises from these feelings.
Often the most important thing is to make sure that both you and he agree on the essential chores that need to be done around the house on a weekly/fortnightly/monthly basis. This sounds simple, but people seldom agree entirely on what is essential, and you do need to agree on what the minimum chores are and how long each chore should take. This may require compromise, especially if one of you wants more done than the other. Remember the task is to agree on what is essential. You might be surprised at how much there is on an “essentials” list.
Then it’s time for a family meeting. If you can, make it a family meeting with a difference. Have a treat on the table. Some families have cake and coffee/tea/soft drink; others serve fruit or a favorite meal. Have the list on the table and as a group divide it evenly between you. Go around the table and let each person take one thing off the list at a time. Start with the children. Be sure that everyone has chores that roughly add to the same amount of time. Let family members trade; try to be light hearted about it.
Once everyone has their chores, they know how often the chores need doing and how long each chore should take, then decide what happens if the chore is not done. Each person needs to come up the strategy for what happens if they don’t do their particular chore. Everyone contributes to the planning and the solutions. Children who earn money can offer to pay someone else, but the amount must be equivalent to what it would cost to have someone outside the family do the work. If, for example, the 19 year old initially agrees to wash the car within a certain timeframe, but doesn’t, they will need to pay to have it washed at a car wash. Younger children can only “pay” with access to TV, mobiles, lifts to friends, or whatever matters to them, but remember the “price” needs to adequately reflect the effort it takes someone else to do the chore.
It can help to have a monthly dinner/family meeting to swap chores or just thank everyone for doing their bit. The key is to make everyone contribute to the smooth running of the home and for problem solving when that doesn't happen.
I wish you luck.
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