I wonder what you may mean when you say your husband takes out his stress on you and the children. If you are feeling anxious as well as stressed around your partner, this is concerning.
As others have already mentioned, there is a difference between feelings and behaviour. Any behaviour that causes others to feel scared or like they are 'walking on eggshells' may be considered violence. Violence is not just physical (e.g. hitting someone or causing damage to property), but may include emotional (e.g. using abusive language such as insults and put-downs), or psychological (e.g.making threats). If you want more information about this, to help you think about whether this is what's going on for you, go to https://www.1800respect.org.au/get-help/common-questions/what-is-domestic-family-violence/ which also gives advice about where to get help for you, your children and your husband.
Any behaviour that makes you feel anxious will also be negatively affecting your children. If there is violence happening, this can have longer-term damaging effects on children's emotional and mental health.
If you don't think your partner's behaviour is violent, but wish to get help for more effective ways of managing stress, your husband can see a psychologist or counsellor to help him learn to deal with his stress differently. Couples counselling can also be helpful here to equip you both with strategies to help you connect well, and learn how to avoid getting caught in negative cycles of communicating that can take over a relationship and affect not just you but your children too.
All the best.
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