hi mrs hegarty, first off keep breathing, long slow breaths. I know how it feels.I was diagnosed with rectal cancer in mid 2010. it was T3 which means it had gone into the wall of my rectum and involved lymph nodes. At first I thought I was doomed to die, the over whelming feeling takes your breath and senses away from you. My advice is take it slowly, get all the fact and ask you doctors what do we now for the best outcome.I was told my cancer was probably doing me damage for 5 to 10 years. i too had toilet problems but we pu it down to menopause!!
I had 6 weeks of radio therapy while at the same time was hooked to chemo therapy 24/7, since then I had a temperary illipstomy, more chemo, then i had the illiosomy reversed.
It is a long haul if your husband has to go through this .
I am 58 and female and I stuck it out with the great support of my husband. there are times when the unknown is worse then the known.
Just wait and find out what the doctors plans are. He is young, which is all the better for him, i was not. the specialist know what they are doing, there are protocols for all the different types of bowel cancers.
Just hold on to each other and prepare for a bumpy ride, get you lives in order and lighted your stress loads as much as you can.
IT IS SURVIVEABLE but it takes some inner stregnth and some good specialist.Get the best advice you can.
I realy feel for you both , remember there is an end to it all but it can take time.
Look at it this way, there are no problems just solutions, it helped me stay on top of it.
Also talk to each other properly and get help if you need it, i did. All the very best Hazel
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