What do you do when Life's pretty hard and you're invisible & out of control?

Conversation started by James74

I have regular thoughts about how to escape. I have pretty much withdrawn from life already. I have no friends, my marriage is gone, I dont see my family and I have got myself in financial trouble because when I was spending, I was doing so thinking I wont have to pay it back once I am gone.
I lie here in bed sometimes picturing my funeral and thinking there would not be anybody there. I cry as I write this but with things getting worse (not better I cant see hope)

To sum it up, I feel invisible and pretty much wothless. I also feel I dont know how to just be normal. I have obsessive disorder where I make really bad decisions thinking they will bring happiness. They never do and compund these feelings with regret and self doubt. There are so many more things that I have let go such as health, work, diet and previous interests, I just dont know where I am going. I feel I'm losing the battle.